Why Are You Here?

Welcome to the Wench's World--the Wolverine State Brewing Company (A2) Beer Wench to be exact. If you've stumbled upon me, cool. If you've entered through the Wolverinbeer.com site, be warned! This is where the part owner/marketing and sales director of a craft microborewery Has Her Say! It may or may not be directly related to the company but it sure will be fun and many times profane as the circumstances warrant! Enjoy (or not) at your own risk!

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Friday, May 11, 2012

FRIDAY FUNNY---OR Warning Labels Necessary

Happy Friday all you fab and adorable Wench fans and not-so-much-fans (I include these because I welcome diversity at my blog).





Liquor manufacturers have accepted the government's 
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed 
immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers WARNING 
Politically INCORRECT:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave 
you wondering what the hell 
happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you
 think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major
 factor in dancing like a retard. 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause
 you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause 
you to think you can sing
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead 
you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to 
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you 
think you can logically converse with members of the 
opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the 
illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better
 looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to 
think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a 
major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you 
tink you kan tpye reelgode.


In the interest of full disclosure let me say that I am 
apparently experiencing what many women Of A Certain 
Age have called variously, Power Surges, Hot Flashes and
Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-My-Way-I'm-Hot moments. 
 I am not a ton of fun to be around,
or so I'm told as these are accompanied by at various times by:
irrational lashing out at anyone within arm's length
and
bouts of crying over commercials
plus
random screaming fits over issues that would previously have 
elicited an "eh, whatever" reaction from me, like kid's floors 
covered with laundry and a dirty kitchen.

Consider Yourselves Warned.

Now for the updates:
We tasted The Massacre, our bourbon barrel aged Imperial
 Dark Lager (reason # 56,798 why it rocks to own a brewery 
with a brewer as creative as mine) yesterday. Dayum.
Mark those calendars: 10/11/2 is the bottle ONLY, Tap Room 
ONLY release.

Karl the Brewer and yours truly will be at Ashley's 
Westland tomorrow (5/12) for the Cask
Ale (!) festival. We are featuring our very popular Drag
 me to Helles Maibock dry hopped
with pineapple and coconut. yum.

The Dark Lager got a review in Draft Magazine! It's a 
solid grade with a lovely poetic description but for yours truly,
 it's all about that KICK ASS label in Draft Magazine. But
that's the marketing slut in me.
WE Have Amber Handles!
Up next? Packaging!

And in the ongoing Rogue Dumpster situation please allow
 me to be officially warning you now.
DO NOT FOR ANY REASON Turn early (before the Comerica
 Bank turn-in) or late (after the alley with our shiny new sign) 
and pass thru the parking lot of Great Lakes Cycle and Fitness.
Between our warnings and their tow trucks we pretty much
 you trained not to EVER (for any reason)  Park there.  
Now I must ask that you avoid even going near their parking
lot, even accidentally.  Just Don't Do It Trust Me. This 
is the first of many warnings.

Finally, we continue our LagerPalooza program of live music
 in May tonight with Doug Horn Jazz.  Get your Pilar's 
Tamale, an ice cold brew and enjoy the evening with us 
(parked, of course in OUR lot having not gone thru theirs).

I'll be chatting with Martin Bandyke on Ann Arbor's 107One
 Radio on Tuesday morning at 7:45 about our 'Palooza.
 Check me out!

Now excuse me while I step outside and cool off....sigh.

Wench


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