Why Are You Here Anyway?

Welcome to the Wench's World--the A2 Beer Wench to be exact. I once owned a brewery. Also once learned a lesson from that! If you've stumbled upon me, cool. What follows may or may not be directly related to real estate, the publishing biz, craft beer, Ann Arbor, or sports, but it sure will be fun and many times profane as the circumstances warrant! Enjoy (or not) at your own risk!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Gettin' Down and Dirty--OR A Little Toilet Humor For Sunday

My God you people are messy.  Or should I say, you GUYS are messy--actually horrific slobs when it comes right down to it.  And I should know because I am responsible on some level or another for cleaning up after you--in and around the bar (Yeah, um, NO PEANUT SHELLS ON THE FLOOR please--what do you think this is?  Lone Star Steakhouse?  That is a lawsuit waiting to happen) and in the Wolverine Tap Room men's room.  

Funny really, how One (as in "I") can tell exactly how busy/crazy the night before was based on the condition of said toilet rooms.  And having spent hours upon hours cleaning them up since our November opening, yes, I will go out on a limb and call myself an expert on this.  Brown paper towels scattered about and around the PLENTY BIG garbage can is pretty much the norm in the men's room no matter how many people showed up to drink beer. I mean, do I need to put a target on it and make it a game?

  Oh, and speaking of targets....can we aim a bit better boys?  I mean you do have the ability to point and shoot you know.  I can always throw a few cheerios down in there like I did when Wenchling Numero Uno and carrier of the family name was doing that learning thing---You can even text me or facebook me afterwards and let me know you "Sunk the battleship!"    Whatever it takes, really to get what needs to be got INSIDE the bowl, as opposed to the ceramic/drywall/tile all around said receptacle.

But the REALLY Telling moment is when I find the Ladies' room trashed.  The boy's room mess is sort of expected (but not welcomed necessarily) but I've gone in a few mornings to see that somehow, the ladies have decided to stand up and pee, or leave their, ahem, medical waste products lying around.  You know you're too drunk to drive when you leave that, erm, feminine hygiene product--the used one--on the floor, or (my personal favorite) on the side of the sink like a damn toothbrush.

So this is in no way to discourage you lovely Wolverine Beer fans and Wench Followers from coming over, drinking my Brewer's amazing malt based creations, snacking on peanuts, bringing in your pizza boxes and leaving them on the floor of the bathroom 'cause you got hungry in there or whatever--but you know, leaving a half eaten slice on the back of the toilet?  Uncool.  

Of course, if any of you are small business owners you KNOW of which I speak.  You love, you hate it, you are a slave to it and it to you.  Some days I think "if I ever see the inside of this place again, I will absolutely go ballistic" only to stay away for a day, getting computer work and sales calls and Real Life Networking (the kind not online) done and feel a pull, a need, a real desire to get back in there, watch the ebb and flow of the business, chat with the many happy beer drinkers, watch the little buckets bedside the FV's bubbling away and listen to beer moving around the brewery, study inventory reports and sales projections.

Oh, and swish out the toilets and wipe down the walls next to in in the men's room 'cause you JUST CAN'T AIM!  And I fully realize that you boys would prefer the urinal style system, but don't get me started on "ADA compliant space vs. my budget for bathrooms," ok??

Love you ALL, in spite of your extreme messiness in My Bathrooms (and btw I do believe one got Officially Christened as a Prime Hookup Location for a couple of you---just sayin' ---makes a Wench proud).
A2 Wench

Officially Will Never Happen at My Tap Room.


willfixit said...


The -only- defense I will grant males relative to aim is that, despite "point and shoot" there can be occasional issues where the urethra is not always obliging and opening in "proper alignment" or "fully" and sometimes diverts.
At the same time, -I- make an effort in cleaning up such mistakes, even when inebriated...

TeacherPatti said...

If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie! Come on folks! We learned that in Kindergarten!